Monday, May 11, 2009

Just Don't Ask

Soapbox time, folks!
I have been married for 8 months now and I am loving it! Of course, I knew that as soon as we were married the inevitable, "When are you going to have a baby?" questions would start coming and boy, was I right. Here's the thing with me. I think it's 1. RUDE to ask that question and 2. I don't think it is ANYONE else's business when we decide to have a baby.
What if J and I decide we don't want kids (which I don't forsee happening, but still) what if we find out for some reason that we can't have kids, what if we wait 5 years to have kids. Is that a problem? Am I seriously going to have to hear these questions until I do have a baby? Is it wrong that I want a couple of years to "just the two of us?"
I know that mostly people are just asking for the sake of asking, but sometimes it really gets under my skin. Yes, I'm 30. Yes, I know that is considered "older" to us in the south - as far as marriage and children go - but my gosh, it's not like I've got one foot in the grave for goodness sake!
So folks, let's stop with all the baby questions, for everyone's sake. You never know what can of worms you might be opening.
p.s. We're most likely waiting 2 years to have a kiddo, of course, things could change, but check back with me in September of 2010, ok?


Jen Sellers said...

Amen to that! We waited almost 5 years before having Molly. I can't imagine jumping right in to having kids. You are right that you need time to be "just the two of us." Unfortunately, when your first child is about 2, you start getting "When are you going to have another?" I've learned over the last few years how insensitive these questions can be, so I'm right there with you that you just don't ask.

Elizabeth said...

AMEN!!! I think it is SO annoying! I have already had people ask when Kurt and I would have a baby and we are ENGAGED! RUDE! AND int this day and time I know SO many people who are either having a hard time getting pregnant or a hard time staying pregnant. So how do you think those people feel when someone asks them that question and that is ALL they want out of life! OOOOOhhhh...I could TOTALLy get on your soapbox with you!

Southern said...

I'm sorry...I think I'm one who has asked you this ::hangs head in shame:: In my's just b/c I have a new one and know how awesome they are AND I know how AWESOME you'll be as a mom!!!

I definitely agree though that you need to enjoy your time as a couple bc everything changes once kids come along. It's great, don't get me wrong...but very different.

Carrie said...

YES!!! You know the rest!

Marissa said...

Southern friend...this was in NO way directed at you or anyone in particular really. Promise, promise, promise!!!!

Allison Bussell said...

It is perfectly fine for you to wait as long as you want to have children (or not at all if that's what you decide), and I totally understand what you are going through. J and I waited 5 years to get pregnant, and it was the best thing we could have done, despite everyone else staying on our butts constantly. And we are planning on stopping at 1 child (GASP!!!) which lots of folks have opinions about too! What is right for one family is not right for another, and Kudos to you for standing your ground!